There is nothing I despise more than “friends” who think they have the right to be in complete control of you. 

I have definitely come across my fair share of these people through school, and to my amazement, even at Uni. I can’t really say I have ever been a major victim of controlling friends, but I have definitely seen my current friends and people around me who have been.

I have seen waaaaay too many posts on Instagram and Facebook lately that read “when someone else call my best friend, their best friend” and I honestly am so confused as to why it is so bad that your friend has other friends?????

Like yes sure, they are your best friend, but where are the guidelines stipulating that they are not allowed to form a relationship with another person in which your best friend might just happen to be the closest friend that the other person has?

And after all, this person is your best friend because you have a close bond together due to the two of you having similar interests, or maybe you just think they are really freaking cool. I don’t know about you but I love showing off my friends like ‘HEY LOOK HOW COOL THESE PEOPLE ARE THAT I AM LUCKY ENOUGH TO SHARE MY UPS AND DOWNS WITH AND KNOW THAT THEY WILL BE HERE FOR ME NO MATTER WHAT. LOOK AT HOW PRETTY THEY ARE AND HOW MUCH FUN THEY CAN BE’.

Controlling friends really remind me of the people that keep music they have found to themselves because they don’t want anyone else listening to it. LIKE, NO. MUSIC IS MADE FOR SHARING.

Who fucking cares if someone likes a song that you came across, or if another girl thinks your best friend is the greatest thing to grace this earth?

And what makes me laugh, is when two people who literally only have each other as friends because they are so controlling, have an argument, and then have absolutely no one to go to.

Something that makes me giggle even more, is when two friends have an argument and the dominant, controlling friend has no one to go to during the cooling off period, but the other has a whole support group behind them because they went out, spread their wings, and found that there are actually other people out there.

This is usually when the controlling and narcissistic people try and control what other people think of you.

When I was 15, my former’best friend’ had just broken up with her boyfriend. Her ex-boyfriend and I had never really spoken because her and I were not friends during their relationship, and therefore he couldn’t talk to me. After they broke up, we spoke a little more and got to know each other.

During this time, he informed me that while he was dating the girl I was once best friends with, she told him to stay away from me, and that I wasn’t a very nice person at all. He also told me that her mother told him those exact words. This was all because her and I weren’t friends at the time, due to the fact that I went out and found some other really awesome people to spend my time with. She obviously didn’t like that, so she wanted other people to think I was a shitty person.

To this very day, she is still like this. Her and I got over our problems and were friends through our senior years. I was always there for her when she needed. We weren’t best friends, but she was super close knit with girls that I am now friends with. They had a falling out, and because I am friends with those girls, I am now ignored, blocked on Facebook, and not spoken to. It’s as if she never knew me.

“Stop letting people who do so little for you, control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions”

Every now and then I wonder if I should send one of her friends a message to pass on to her just asking what I have actually done to her. It just really confuses me because I was always there for her when she needed it. I was always there when she needed a shoulder to cry on, all the way up to graduation, no matter how close we were.

But then I remember that I am obviously better than that, and deserve much more than someone who can forget everything I had ever done for them simply because I associate with people she no longer is friends with.

Just remember my pretties – open your mind, spread your wings, and sprinkle your dust everywhere.

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